After months and months of In-one-ear-out-the-otherâ„¢ training the children still have not grasped the fact that pocket money needs to be earned.

Well it does, children. It very much does.

Where do you think i am for those 12 hrs a day Monday – Friday when i’m not at home? I’m not fishing*, you know.

. . . → Read More: Contract

Youtube Millionaire

One of the things the children got for Christmas is a Kindle Fire each.

They are very cheap good, and perfect for keeping them entertained with books and games and other such onlinery. Importantly they are safe from weirdos in chatrooms and i’m assured they cannot smash in my debit card either.


Like almost . . . → Read More: Youtube Millionaire

Nativity 2015: Part Three

The final instalment is Charlie’s epic showpiece.

Attentive, keen and leading the line, the boy does an amazing job as Sheep Three.

I particularly love the way he grabs his crotch like a Gangsta Rapper in the opening sequence.

And look out how he holds the pose at the end.


. . . → Read More: Nativity 2015: Part Three

Nativity 2015: Part Two

And so to the next big, show-stopping number.

A performance where, in no uncertain terms, my West End Star in the making puts her absolute all in to it.

You go girl.


Nativity 2015: Part One

This year’s production comes to you abridged, and in three parts.

Part one is a classic that needs no more introduction.

If you get 20 secs in and don’t see it, you’ve missed all the fun.

Big shout goes out to Uncle T for the stellar camera work – i think you can see the . . . → Read More: Nativity 2015: Part One

Bubba Turn

When I was six there was no such thing as taking turns, where watching telly was concerned.

Three channels, no video, no home computer, no choice.

Bod, Rentaghost, JC’s Newsround (yawn), Crackerjack – in that order, that’s your lot, sunshine. Good night.

We lived in simpler times.

But now, for my digitally native children, the . . . → Read More: Bubba Turn

Thoughts from the Back Seat

Other than the bath, the back seat of the car is C & M’s primary forum for debate and discussion.

It’s a hotbed of philosophical musings.

Here’s one from the other day.

C: “The Santa you see in shops and at Audley End and at Scotsdales isn’t the real Santa, is . . . → Read More: Thoughts from the Back Seat

Parenting Fail #447

“Mummy, the paper keeps rolling up”

I Wanna Play

And so to the playground where Charlie spent most of the time yesterday playing with Charlotte.

Could this be a blossoming romance?

Could this be my boy’s first true love? Other than Mathilda, of course.

No. Probably not.

It was simply because she was happy to play

1) Lego Star Wars


2) Dogs and . . . → Read More: I Wanna Play

The Biggest Conker

Just got back from another assembly. I was right at the back (natch) so no shaky mobile phone video evidence as yet, thankfully.

I swear, some people have no idea. A woman sitting in front of me was filming the whole thing on her iPad. The whole thing in this case being the perfectly focused . . . → Read More: The Biggest Conker