Glossary of Terms

For some months now The Horrors (who are actually not that horrible anymore) have been using words, rather than incessant wailing, to communicate with anyone who will listen.

Trouble is, being no more than 1 3/4 yrs old their pronunciation and diction is somewhat sketchy at the best of times.

So here is a glossary for the purposes of translation:


Knock knock Ag – Eggs (with particular reference to the cracking thereof) – M.

Phomas – VW Audry’s eponymous Tank Engine – M.

DazeOne of our cats (Dave) – C/M.

Air arrr oooo – A call to establish the whereabouts of someone or something.  As in, ‘Mummy, air arrr oooo?’ C/M.

Hair Pain – Any number of winged, flying vehicles – C/M.

Biddibudder – a food paste made primarily from ground dry-roasted peanuts, popular in North America, Netherlands & United Kingdom – C/M.

Cucucububer – a widely cultivated plant in the gourd family Cucurbitaceae C/M.

Quack Quack – Duck – M (C just says Duck).

PeePees / Pispees – The breakfast cereal which carries the long-running slogan Snap, Crackle and Pop. – C/M.

Momoh – A simple request for an increased amount of something, as popularised by Dickens’s Oliver Twist C/M.

Sticky Cake – any one of a number of transparent, cellulose-based, pressure sensitive adhesive tapes – C/M.

Pear Pig – Popular porcine pre-school cartoon character  – C/M.

Mulk – a white liquid produced by the mammary glands of mammals, specifically cows – C/M.

Boobies – Blueberries – C/M.

Uhuh OmMy Brother-in-law  (Uncle Tom) – C/M.

Daddy Iron Cock –  The seed head of any member of the genus Taraxacum – C/M.

Nanny Pants – The ‘Nanny Plumb’ character from Ben & Holly’s Magic Kingdom – C/M.

Bum Bum Bee any member of the bee genus Bombus, in the family Apidae – C/M (note: Charlie likes to blow on them)

Donny – an imitation child/baby – C

Where my put that one go please Daddy? – Request. As in ‘Father, in which position shall i place this particular piece of the jigsaw puzzle on your interactive Thomas the Tank Engine iPhone Game?’ – M

Rod the BuilderBob’s business partner – C

Scoopy Doop –   Shaggy’s canine companion   – C/M

Tenty PThe only amount of money that is needed to pay for anything – C&M

MagnetsThe larvae of the Bluebottle Fly Calliphora vomitoria, popular as a fishing bait – C&M

CD to WatchAn optical disc storage format developed by several electronics companies in 1995 – M

Cat in Boots – a French literary fairy tale about a cat who uses trickery and deceit to gain power – C&M

MidiotA stupid person – M

LunatacA crazy person – M

Balancing Day – Hallmark sponsored love-in occurring every Feb 14th- C&M

Have you heard an undecipherable utterance come from either of my children? Send all words and phrases that need explaining to and we’ll do our best to translate. In confidence.